Find out how Chaos has lived through a late autism and ADHD diagnosis to embrace their neurodivergent strengths.
Chaos wears many hats at ASA, working on our geospatial projects while helping our People and Impact team with human resources tasks. Like many people who grew up female, Chaos only found out about being neurodivergent in their early twenties when trying to access support. After being employed in many retail positions, Chaos works across multiple areas at ASA whilst following their passion in the entertainment industry. Find out more about Chaos’ story below.
Chaos Proctor: I'm originally from Mullumbimby in northern New South Wales. When I was growing up, I found life challenging at times because I have family members who have struggled with their mental health. Some are neurodivergent like me, but others have serious issues, which wasn’t the greatest environment. During my childhood, there were times when I was bullied for being ‘weird’ or ‘different’ as well as being socially excluded. But then, if I tried to talk to someone about it, they would say, ‘Nothing’s wrong with you, don't be so dramatic!’ That was pretty confusing.
But I had a wonderful school experience because I went to Steiner school. It was a supportive environment for someone who was neurodivergent (even though I wasn’t diagnosed at the time). I don't think that I would have made it through a typical school experience. I liked it there because I’m a creative person and I was able to explore. I learnt things via art, which really helped me. I’m quite practical and like working with my hands.
Many kids came from wealthy families because having a Steiner education can be expensive. My friendship group mainly consisted of kids from families who were struggling financially, like my own. Attending a Steiner school definitely helped me. People often say I'm quite emotionally intelligent, and I attribute that mainly to the Steiner philosophy, which is about developing individual thinkers. I struggled towards the end of school because it became ‘less Steiner’ in the last two years, as they had to follow a more ‘normal’ curriculum.
I moved to Sydney a few months after finishing school, mainly because my partner attended university there. I was initially interested in psychology, but anything involving formal writing was out of the question. I realised I couldn't go through a university course because I found formal study almost impossible. I was hoping that I might be able to do some acting there because I really enjoy the entertainment industry. However, I found that complicated because of my executive function challenges, so it was hard to get myself out there. I still struggle to take care of myself in many ways. I procrastinate a lot, mainly out of fear. For example, I haven't obtained my driver’s licence yet.
While in Sydney, I landed a factory job in the food industry. I found that pretty depressing. While the company was terrific, expressing individuality and creativity in your scrubs is hard! I also had to wake up very early each day, which doesn’t work with my brain! I had to walk in the dark to reach work because there wasn’t accessible early-morning public transport, which isn’t that frequent or enjoyable.
We moved to Brisbane to be closer to family and friends. Being in a new city, I then had to try to make new friends and find work. I didn’t want to do factory work anymore, so I had to find something to make ends meet. I did some short-term work, such as for my ex-partner’s mother. I also worked at the Ekka (Brisbane show), braided hair and did a Certificate II, which led to a short stint working as a salon assistant.
I came across plenty of obstacles in finding work because employers didn’t understand my mental health. I remember being interviewed at a salon for a hairdressing apprenticeship because I was encouraged to do it. The owner said that she would ‘fix my anxiety disorder’, which I found ironic because salon work can be really stressful! I worked at a couple of salons and was yelled at, making me cry a few times. It’s no one’s fault because it's just a fast-paced environment where you have to get things right.
“I wasn’t diagnosed as being neurodivergent until I was 23 in 2022. Back home, many people don’t believe in diagnosing their kids with ‘differences’ because of the labels, but it would have been beneficial if I had known earlier!”
The reason I sought an autism and ADHD diagnosis was because I was sure I had it. If I received an official diagnosis, I could find resources and funding to help. There is a bias against people born female in terms of being diagnosed as neurodivergent because it presents differently to males, especially in a social context. I could do a whole speech about this, but much of it concerns how society places emotional responsibility on women. So, we must learn to adapt or ‘mask’, or we won’t survive.
I had been diagnosed with major depressive disorder and generalised anxiety disorder when I was younger. I started therapy for these when I was 13 or 14. But they were the only diagnoses my parents were willing to undertake. My mum (who is also autistic) wouldn’t have wanted me to get diagnosed with ADHD because she didn’t believe in that kind of thing at the time. It was only in my adult life that I found out about autism, ADHD, and insomnia. I also have Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). It’s a struggle, but I live by my values every day and spend time pursuing what I want.
Then, I found out about ASA. My disability employment service agent put me forward for a bulk recruitment interview. At first, I was anxious about trying something I had no previous experience in, but I told my agent I would give it a go. I’ve been at ASA for over two years! I do a variety of things here. I just like to find ways to help people. I’m a permanent Junior Data Analyst working on geospatial projects, including the Enzen/Energy Queensland project, but I also do human resources work every Friday. I’m also the head of the LGBTQIA+ Working Group, which spans all our offices. I also started up S.O.F.A, or the Society Of Friendship Activities, which is a group that helps people make friends by undertaking games and arts and crafts. I’m also on the social committee and help organise events! By far, this is the longest period I’ve ever held a job, plus I’m forming a career!
“I like working at ASA. I can listen to my music and do other things that help me focus, such as crocheting or doing different things with my hands. ASA has a supportive culture, and they help me grow in the direction I want; for me, that’s HR.”
The best thing is that everyone else here is pretty much like me. There is very little miscommunication. We get each other. We can have meaningful conversations. It's nice because many other workplaces can be isolating, especially if people aren't in your age group or are largely neurotypical. We all have something in common.
Social events are also voluntary here. Many neurodivergent people can be shy and may not want to be social because of their previous rejection fears. But we have a good participation rate because our activities and structured events encourage people to come out of their shells.
It’s nice that a media room is set up for us to do things at lunch, such as computer games. I like using the soundproof rooms where I can turn off the lights to organise my thoughts. Just a moment where I can reboot. This creates time because I come back fresh and don’t have to struggle for another four hours, not being productive. Other workplaces should be aware of simple adjustments they can make like this and different communication styles because you never know who is neurodivergent.
“I’m grateful that ASA works around my needs. I have a very different schedule! I work half days Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday and a full day on Friday. Being able to start work later most days of the week is very beneficial because I’m much more productive.“
My strengths are that I have good emotional intelligence and empathy, which is funny because there is an incorrect assumption that autistic people don’t feel it. My social challenge is becoming close to people. I’m good at meeting new people but find getting close to someone difficult. I organise things differently, which can be a strength and weakness sometimes, but my creative side has an eye for eye-catching stuff, for example, organising visuals or slides. I'm good at helping people negotiate their personal lives. I'm like an unofficial counsellor for some of my friends. I’ve told them stuff they’ve never realised. I like being helpful. I'm also good at being professional, especially when speaking to others.
With my ADHD, I have rejection-sensitive dysphoria, which means that sometimes, when I need help, I’m hesitant to ask for it because I feel rotten about myself. But if you don't come forward, you still feel rotten! Having our People Success Officers (PSOs) available to talk is great. Sometimes, we don’t know how much personal information is too much to put out there, so it’s nice that we have PSOs who can direct us and help. For example, I’ve asked our PSOs for help with particular wording when I need to approach someone for a question or help our team coordinate support.
“Since I started here, ASA has provided me with stable employment. ASA is my first permanent role. I can rely on a steady stream of funds in my bank account. It's nice that I can rely on the bills being paid and budget! Everyone helps you personally and professionally, and I have been able to move towards the future the way I want to.”
With communicating, I like the direct approach here. Everyone has different types of communication that work better for them or other learning styles, but it’s especially so with neurodivergent people. With autism, the hangups of the neurotypical are often deflected onto us. They usually read too much into what we are saying when we are being direct. One helpful tip is that when a neurodivergent person is talking to someone else, we may misinterpret the tone. So, we use a tone indicator, which is a slash, and then the word, such as /joking!
In my opinion, when working with neurodivergent people, give explicit directions. If you’re too vague and expect someone to figure out too much, that can cause stress. Checking in too often in a public space can also create stress. I chose a specific seat because I can be unsettled by people walking behind me or in front of me.
Sometimes, we can’t pick up if something has gone wrong. I remember being yelled at one of my salon jobs because I looked at my phone when a staff member asked me to check the timing of a task. But she didn’t tell me she wanted me to use the computer. Explicit, to-the-point instructions would have avoided that situation. I don’t mind being directed if it’s well organised. I like to-do lists to track what I need to do and when.
As for me, in the future, I’d like to keep working in HR and doing voice-acting gigs. My dream is to pursue my creativity and help others. I would also like to do some professional mermaid work!